Martin Luther King Jr. Day and the Trump Inauguration: A Call for the Return of Civility

An Instagram-style post that says: We need leaders not in love with money but in love with justice. Not in love with publicity but in love with humanity. - Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.

Social media has changed the way we interact with the world and with each other. The novelty of speaking to a stranger on the internet was a part of the childhood of many of us born in the 1980's and after. The nature of speaking to someone behind a screen created an opening to break the social rules we once learned. I can recall instantly lying about my age/sex/location in chat rooms when I was young. Connecting with strangers only became more and more simple with the proliferation of social media companies urging social connection via their platforms.

Now, I would like to think I've come a long way since then. I've lived a lot, learned a lot, experienced a lot.

But really, up until a few years ago, I was still fine being unfriendly toward someone on social media to get a point across.

Why am I (and so many of us) like this? One study by Kim et al. (2021) demonstrated that exposure to toxic language in Facebook comment sections increases the toxicity of subsequent comments. Additionally, a study by Anderson and Huntington (2017) found instances of incivility and sarcasm were low amongst social media participants overall, but incivility was used in association with political topics, and both incivility and sarcasm were used alongside skeptical perspectives of climate change. I'm sure none of us are particularly surprised by this. However, this raises the important idea that toxicity breeds toxicity. If we continuously plunge ourselves into doom-and-gloom-ridden news whose headlines beg us to get angry for clicks, eventually, we become all doom-and-gloom. It's insidious, but it happens easily. We become what we consume; we become what we read.

Have you ever read the headline of an article, just to skip the article and jump straight to the comment section? You're not alone! A lot of people do; so many that researchers came up with a name for the phenomenon back in 2013: "the nasty effect". The idea is that uncivil online comments can polarize people's opinions and perceptions. The authors asserted that audiences reading "uncivil language in comment sections may find the messages hostile and make judgments about the original issue based on their own preexisting values rather than on the information at hand. This may develop polarized perceptions on issues among different audience segments that hold different values" (Anderson et al., 2014, para 2). I once read a comment that stated,

"Not reading the comment section is self care".

This comment runs through my mind when I find myself drifting too far into the depths of a toxic comment section. But why are these comment sections so toxic? Why do so many individuals use an attack-discourse approach online? Difficult topics are just that: difficult topics. They can bring up strong opinions and feelings. This is pretty natural. What do we do?

What is our expected outcome from a difficult conversation? How do we "win"?

The problem lies in the idea of winning an argument on social media in the first place. Social media comment sections in particular are an endless contest of both user 1 and user 2 trying to outsmart one another while hurling increasingly unique insults. What are they trying to win? Does one ever end up convincing the other? (I am guessing not). In their article, Finding Value in Having Difficult Conversations, Satullo and Sokoloff (2022) suggested that far too often, we define the "win" strictly in terms of whose interests dominated the conversation.

They suggest that we instead attempt to gain some understanding and respect for the individual and leave the conversation open to future discussion (Satullo & Sokoloff, 2022).

Much has been said about President Trump's uncivil way of speaking about marginalized groups and his sometimes violent rhetoric which has increased dramatically in the past nine years. when incivility rains down from the highest office in the country, the people take notice. I have learned, through parenting, how modeling appropriate behaviors is beneficial for our children; if you want your child to treat others with respect, it is important for your child to see you treating others with respect. I believe this concept can also apply to those in leadership positions.

This is a call for everyone to do the important work inwardly and outwardly to move back toward civility.

A variety of viewpoints is essential for true objectivity. This includes acknowledgement of implicit biases and stereotypes. I've been amazed over the years at the emotional responses people can have (usually anger, initially) when they become conscious of their biases. It can be an uncomfortable journey, tracing your automatic thoughts back to their origins. We can all work to keep one another in check when it comes to social media and civility:

Inwardly:

Acknowledge implicit biases
Increase self-awareness of social media behaviors
Notice emotional responses to the things that we read online
Take note of urges to respond in anger; take a few moments and ask if it's the right thing to do

Outwardly

Step away from social media; take timed breaks or set screen time limits on certain applications if needed. Make use of the screen time option on your phone.
Adjust algorithms to personal interests and passions. When you log on to social media, do you want to be inspired or do you want to be mad?
Connect with friends and family (in real life!). Jonathan Haidt refers to smart phones as "experience blockers" - less use of them will lead to more time spent in the "real world".
Practice having challenging conversations with a trusted individual if needed
Reconsider engagement with troll commenters and rage-bait headlines; consider the 1440: Unbiased news for the intellectually curious.

Social connection is needed for mental health and civil conversations are needed to uphold democracy. Even if you don't see civil discourse demonstrated when it should be, you can do your own part to promote civil discourse wherever you go.

Ideas for what to say in response to a heavy topic:

“I can see that this issue means a lot to you..."
“Thanks for raising this issue. ...
“I think it took guts to put that on the table. ...
“You come at this from a very different perspective than I do, so it's natural that we see it differently.”
"Let's take a break and come back to this later"

Best wishes, good luck, and thanks for reading!

-Megan

References

1440 (2024). Feed your curiousity and expand your knowledge. https://join1440.com/

Anderson, A. A., Brossard, D., Scheufele, D. A., Xenos, M. A., & Ladwig, P. (2013).

The “Nasty Effect:” Online Incivility and Risk Perceptions of Emerging Technologies, 19(3)373-387. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcc4.12009

Anderson, A. A., & Huntington, H. E. (2017). Social Media, Science, and Attack Discourse: How Twitter Discussions of Climate Change Use Sarcasm and Incivility. Science Communication, 39(5), 598-620. https://doi.org/10.1177/1075547017735113

Gibson, C. (2023). Trump says immigrants are ‘poisoning the blood of our country.’ Biden campaign likens comments to Hitler. NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/trump-says-immigrants-are-poisoning-blood-country-biden-campaign-liken-rcna130141

Kim, J. W., Guess, A., Nyhan, B, & Reifler, J. (2021). The Distorting Prism of Social Media: How Self-Selection and Exposure to Incivility Fuel Online Comment Toxicity, Journal of Communication, 71(6), 922–946, https://doi.org/10.1093/joc/jqab034

Satullo, C. & Sokoloff. (2022). Finding value in having difficult conversations. University of Pennsylvania Paideia Program. https://snfpaideia.upenn.edu/finding-value-in-having-difficult-conversations/

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